2 under 2

I never would of thought I would be the mom to 2 under 2.  Before I had kids, I would of said that's crazy.  Why would someone have 2 kids that close together.  

Some days I have it all together, some days I don't.  Some days I have it together in the morning and by the time 5 o'clock hits I have two screaming children and I'm on the verge of crying and I can't find the Solly Wrap and I'm trying to make supper and feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown.  (That may of happened this week...)

Having 2 under 2 is a challenge because Parker doesn't necessarily grasp that Cooper is a baby and that when I'm feeding him I can't drop everything to get him cheese that he's going to tear apart, drop on the floor and not eat.  (We go through a lot of cheese slices.)  He loves his brother, but I see the jealousy in his behaviour.  He cries more than he used to and acts out.  But I know that in the long run having a sibling is what is best for him, and eventually he will make it through this phase.

But having 2 under 2 is also special.  I always thought it was so cool when someone had a sibling that was only one grade different from them, because it's so rare.  I hope that they will be best friends.  I know it might not happen, or they might have years where they can't stand each other.  But 20 years from now I just hope that they appreciate each other.

Each day is a challenge, but it's also a blessing.  I have 2 boys who love me and need me.  As much as Parker might act out, at the end of the day he gives me a hug and a kiss.  In the middle of the night he calls for mommy.  When I'm exhausted because Cooper has been cluster feeding for 4 hours, he then wraps his tiny arm around me and it's the sweetest thing and melts my heart.  The kid is an amazing snuggler for a 6 week old!

I read something the other day that was talking about the decision to have more than 2 kids.  It said that the first 5 years are hard and tiring, but after that it's not so bad.  And I get that.  Although so rewarding, young kids are a challenge.  But it won't always be like this.  Some day they won't need me every second.  Parker will be able to get his own cheese.  Cooper won't be nursing for hours (and since I've done the nursing thing a year ago, I know that it truly doesn't last forever.)  And I will miss this.  I think I've been really good at soaking in each phase that my kids have gone through and I hope I never lose sight of that or wish the time away.

The days are long but the years are short.