Being Home

So obviously I've been reflecting on what it's been like to be at home with my kids a lot lately.  I go back to work sooner, slightly earlier than expected.  It's bittersweet.  I do like working.  I'm one of those office people who loves sitting at a computer and being productive and getting stuff done.  But I really love being at home with my kids.

The past 11 months has been amazing.  I enjoyed my maternity leave with Parker, but this maternity leave was so rewarding.  It made such a difference having a toddler who cared what we did.  There were so many fun things that we could go do and it was a blast seeing everything through his eyes.  I loved watching the two boys learn and grow and love each other.

I love leisurely mornings, drinking coffee and watching tv.  I love dropping Parker off at preschool and then picking him up an listening to what he says they did that morning.  Sometimes he sings me the songs that they sang at preschool on the way home.  I love getting together with girlfriends and building relationships with people who are in a similar life stage to myself, as well as watching our kids build relationships with each other.  

People who have the ability to stay home with their kids, I envy you.  It's definitely not easy.  Some days I wanted to pull my hair out.  Many moments have been difficult.  But it's nice to not miss all of those good moments that happen throughout the day.  

But back to work I go.  And I know that it will be fine, because it was fine last time.  Our days will be busy, but we will make it work.  My time management will improve again!  And I know the boys will have a fantastic time at daycare and with their grandmas!

So basically I'm conflicted and don't know how I feel.  I feel everything.  Happy and sad, excited and scared.  But I know that in the end everything will work out, we will all be fine, we will all be happy.