Making This Time Count

The days go by fast.  Some days Parker and I get out and do things, but more often than not it seems like we are around the house.  Between feeds and Parker's naps, many days seem to fly by and at the end of it I wonder, what did I do today that was special?

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my time at home with Parker.  We have a million special moments in our day.  From his morning smiles, to how proud and happy he is while he sits up and plays, to evening snuggles and giggles with his dad.  Every day is special.  But I feel so lucky that I get a year to spend exclusively with him and I want to know that I'm making the most of it. 

Is what I'm doing enough?  Or should I be trying to get out more, explore what is around us with him.  But what does he get out of that?  Would I be doing it for me or for him?  

It's a struggle because I feel we can get stuck in the rut that is our life.  We stay at home because we have laundry or cleaning or nap time.  Right now, Parker is quite content at home because he knows no different.  But even 6 months from now when he's more involved in the world I want him to be out experiencing new things and I don't ever want the real world to take over and allow us to forget what's important.

It's September.  I have less than 5 months until I'm back to work.  The weather is getting cooler and I feel time slipping away from me.  I have a life time with this baby, but he won't always be a baby and I won't always have so many hours in a day with him and that's scary for a mom.  I have less than 5 months to do as much as I can so that I know that when I go back to work I made the most of this year.  5 months might seem like a long time to some, but when I think of how quickly the last 7 months have gone, I feel like my time is up tomorrow.

Happy Due Date to Us

When I first went to the doctor when I was pregnant, I was told my due date was February 28.  The midwife changed it to February 27 because of an ultrasound, but I just kept telling everyone the 28th because I agreed with it more and I thought it was dumb that they changed it for one day.  Then I went into labour 5 weeks early and being 35+1 seemed better than 35, so now I say my due date was February 27!

It's hard to believe that at this point I was just supposed to be thinking get this baby out of me.  Or maybe I should of had a very new baby, not a 5 week old.  I assumed I would go late, everyone in my family goes late.  I had predicted a March baby, not a January baby!  But here we are, 5 weeks later, with a cute little gaffer who still needs to be woken every 3 hours to be fed.  I'm over that....

I thought maternity leave would be a vacation.  I mean I knew that being a parent would be hard, but I didn't realize just how full my days would be and yet how I would get nothing done.  I feed him, that is my life.  But that's what's important right now.  And hopefully with time, he will not have to be fed every 3 hours, I won't have to pump right after, and we can go out in public and actually feel like a human being again.  

So I'm sorry for not previously understanding what maternity leave really was, and for thinking that it was all fun and games and hanging out with your baby and watching TV (ok it is that), and having time to clean your house (it isn't that, but I really need to start doing that). But it is rewarding.  Because this little man has gained like a pound in a week and that's because of my hard work.