Saying Goodbye

How do you say goodbye to a cat who has been part of your family for almost 20 years?  I'm still not sure how to answer that question even though last night I had to do it. 

Lacey hasn't been well for a long time.  She has been living in my parents furnace room for a few years.  It started because she was throwing up frequently, but then she got comfortable there and wouldn't leave even if the door was open.  She had food, water, litter and a big comfy chair.  What more could a 19 year old cat want?

And she seemed happy.  When you went down there to visit she would purr as soon as she saw you.  She still loved us.  So we held on.

I bet she loved the trampoline for this Father's Day pic

But we knew that it couldn't last forever.  She had arthritis and couldn't groom herself.  She looked awful.  We kept expecting her to just go on her own.  I mean she's a 19 year old cat.  But it didn't happen.

So last night we finally said goodbye.  And I went to see her ahead of time to say my personal goodbye.  And I didn't know how to do it.  I know talking to pets might seem crazy to some, but I didn't know what to say to this poor kitten who had no idea what was about to happen.  So I just thanked her for being the best cat that a kid could ask for.  

We got her for Christmas in 1994 and although she was a family cat, she was really mine.  I was her choice when choosing a bed to sleep in.  If I was sick, she would cuddle up with me on the couch.  She hated when I played the violin though, she always left the room as soon as that started.  

Her name was Lacey, but she was more often called Goggie.  Because when my brother was little (he was only 2 when we got her) he said he wanted a kitty named Doggie, but Goggie is the word that came out of his mouth.  So she became a cat with 2 names.

She was a feisty kitty back in the day.  She gave me a few battle wounds, which I deserved.  But she was shy with strangers.  Most people didn't even realize that we had a cat. 

I'm not too sure what she thought when the first dog showed up when she was about 7, but her and Opie seemed to be pretty good pals.  Once she got older and wasn't moving as well, Opie eased up on her, it was like he knew.  When Opie died and we got Oliver, she wasn't having it.  A new puppy was too much for a 17 year old cat to handle.

I didn't think I would be sad when the time came to put her down.  I knew it was coming and honestly she hasn't been part of the family for a few years as she rarely left the confines of her furnace room "retirement home".  But I was sad.  Sad because that time in my life is over.  She grew up with us and was always there and it's just weird that she's gone.  19 years is a long time.  

I hope that there's an animal heaven and that Opie is giving Lacey hugs up there.
 

 

2 Years Later

Is it weird to remember the day that your dog died two years later?  Poor little new dog Oliver had his birthday forgotten this year, and yet I remember the date that Opie died.  

The day Opie died was one of the worst days of my life.  I hadn't had to deal with death very much prior to that.  Basically just some great grandparents, and one grandfather.  His death was difficult for me, but he had been sick for so long that we knew that this was what was best.

But Opie we didn't really see coming.  He was only 10.  I had stopped at my parents to see him earlier that night because my sister had said he was having difficulty breathing.  But I just thought he would be fine.  I couldn't stay long because we were going out for my mother-in-law's birthday.  (Happy Birthday Carrie! Sorry for the depressing topic...)

Later that night, after my in-laws left my house, Ryan told me that Opie had died.  I just burst into tears, amazed at how instantaneous my grief was.  We went down to my parents and sat on the lawn with Opie for what felt like hours.  Who pets a dead dog?  We did.

I remember the pain so vividly.  I woke up multiple times that night in tears.  As soon as I thought about it I was crying, because I couldn't imagine life without that little guy following us around.  If there had been any night for a sleeping pill, that would have been it.  And for a girl who rarely takes sick days, the next day would have been a good one to take.  I was a disaster.

For weeks, or maybe months afterwards, I would catch myself thinking about him on my way home from work and start crying.  This is what happens when you have an hour commute, which is way too much time alone with your thoughts.

For those of you who have never lost a pet, you probably think that I'm crazy.  For those that have, you may understand.  Opie grew up with us.  He was our best friend and was always there when we needed him.  When we were sick or just sad and needed a friend, he was there, and dogs don't ask questions, they just cuddle with you.  When we were happy, Opie was zooming around us because he was happy too.  

And that is the problem with pets.  They are with us for such a short time but become so much a part of our lives.  I think that their deaths can be more painful for us then some human deaths because we really notice their absence.  When my Grandpa died, I was sad, and it would hit me that I would never see him again.  But I didn't notice his absence on a daily basis.  With Opie I did.  Every time I went to my parents house I noticed that he didn't greet me.  He wasn't begging at the table or cuddling up with us on the couch.  And the house felt empty. 

And yet my parents got another dog 2 weeks later.  Because despite the pain, we couldn't imagine life without the happiness that a pet brings us.  So we are going to do it all over again at some point.  But that's ok, because that's just what life and death is, and we wouldn't be so sad if we weren't so incredibly happy at some point.

The day he became part of our family

Oliver!

We have decided on a name.  Oliver it is.  Or Ollie.  He is freakin' cute.  We love him. 

So let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start....

We missed our Opie pup and decided that a house without a dog was no good (except my house, that's fine).  So we were on a crazy puppy hunt.  We wanted a dog similar in size to Opie (about 25 lbs), somewhat close to home and not too expensive.  Well this was hard to come by.  I started looking into miniature golden doodles.  They are like $2000.  Who spends that on a dog?  Finally I found Oliver and his siblings on kijiji.  They were down the road from work, so I went to check them out.

Oliver is a schnoodle, which is what Opie was.  His dad is a schnauzer/poodle and his mom is a poodle.  He met all of the criteria except he will probably only be between 10 and 15 lbs. 

Later that same night, Tali, Brady and I went to look at some whoodles (wheaten poodles).  They were cute, as most puppies are, but we decided that we already knew the pros and cons of a schnoodle and we kind of wanted to go with that breed.  So the next day, they went to see Oliver and he came home with them!  He was the most playful in the litter, the biggest, and the only black one.  We didn't want one that looked too much like Opie and both of his brothers that were left were blonde.

He is a good pup so far.  Very few accidents.  He just kind of follows his people around.  And sleeps. 

I'm trying to see him frequently because I wanted him to love me.  I am his designated babysitter after all. 

He came over to visit Pipsi on Monday night.  I don't know if she liked him.  I think that she wants to be friends, but on her terms.  She's such a cat.

  Once Oliver was asleep she got a little bit closer.  Pretty nervy there Pips.