Babies

One thing that marriage brings to your attention, is babies.  When you are dating, people ask when you are getting engaged.  As soon as we got engaged, people asked when we would have babies.  (To which I respond, can we get married first).  Now that we are married, the baby talk continues.  And it goes on in my head now too.  Because it is a serious consideration.  We want kids, so the when is definitely a question.  But it's also not one I can answer for anyone, or even if I knew when, that I would tell them.  (Well we are going to start trying on this date, and then hope to be pregnant on this date, and the baby will be born on this date....I don't think that's how it works).

Anyways, I was at Starbucks yesterday, because that's what I do, and as I was coming out, a mother was chasing her son across the parking lot.  She was screaming his name and he was running into the next row as a car was coming.  She caught him, and the car saw him and stopped, but it was scary for a minute there.  Then she pulled him away as he screamed.  I never actually felt like he was going to be hit, but it scared me because someday that will be me.  She probably thought he was old enough to walk on his own.  Or she let go of his hand for one second.  Who knows.  But it's scary to think that someday I will be responsible for a little human's life.  I need to make sure I feed them enough and that they don't get hit by a car.

Are you ever ready for that? Whether you are 20 or 35?  I doubt it.  I think now, my mom was a year younger than I am when she had me.  I thought they were such great and responsible parents.  Now I look at myself and think, if I had a baby, I wouldn't have a clue what I was doing. So I can assume that my parents were clueless as well.  At least I turned out ok!  I hope my future child turns out okay as well.

All this to say, children scare me. I will have them anyways.  But I am terrified.  So I might wait a little bit, OK?  But not 5 years like my sister wants me to.  (And on that note, does anybody know somebody who wants to date my sister so that they can get married and have babies at the same time as me?)

She is a lovely girl